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Jul 2 2018

Not a part of the Summer Reading? It’s OK. YOU DON’T WANT TO MISS THIS TOPIC – SEX.  Keep reading.

To my summer reading girlfriends – It really does just keep getting better and more transparent!  Keep on hanging on, there are so many blessings pouring out all over the place.

LIE # 7 – I’m bad at sex

Holy smokes! Are we really going to discuss this topic right here in plan view? If the Bible has something to say about it then I guess it’s OK for us to discuss it, right? Absolutely! Thanks to Hollywood, media, social media, tabloids, and anything else of the world you can think of, sex has been twisted into something it’s not. Since we can’t measure up to the worlds view of sex then we should just shut down all together, right? I mean, why can’t he just cuddle? Ladies, I know this a common issue in marriages. Otherwise there wouldn’t be numerous Christian books written on the topic. My favorite is Intimate Issues by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus. I highly recommend this book. In addition to answering 21 questions Christian women ask about sex, there is also a 12 week bible study in the back, ALL scripture based. ORDER IT NOW Girlfriend, It’s calling your name!

If you have been asking the question, why can’t he just cuddle?, you are asking the wrong question about the wrong person. A better question would be, why can’t I enjoy intimacy with my man? Say what!? Well that question is just dumb..then you realize it’s right on target. It’s much easier to direct the issue to him, but it’s more important to direct the question back to the only person you can control – yourself. If you aren’t interested and don’t enjoy being intimate with your husband, there is a reason. It’s important to uncover that reason. Your marriage depends on it. No really, it does. Your marriage depends on it. (second time for more emphasis)

If you want to see some serious transformation in the attitude of your husband, how he responds to your bad moods, his level of patience, his quickness in completing the honey-do list, AND let’s not forget – his willingness to just cuddle, then devote some time, prayer and commitment to uncovering your intimate issues. You’ll see a transformation in your marriage that you couldn’t have imagined. I promise. You can do this Girlfriend!

Discussion Question: Do you have intimate issues? What is one, single thing will you begin to do about it?

Lie # 8 – I don’t know how to be a mom AND Lie # 9 – I’m not a good mom

And folks there it is – If you can’t fail a job you were created to do then I’m not a good mom is quite possibly a big, fat lie! So maybe you are not being the best mom you can be, maybe you are not even being the mom God calls you to be, but sister, don’t you dare for one minute think you can’t be a great mom. You can be. It takes work. I wasn’t a great mom the first 13 years of my oldest daughters life. That was by choice, and writing it makes me cringe.  I didn’t put my family first, my career took that spot. I was disconnected and not focused on the things that would last – the legacy I would leave for my kids. I thank God that he confronted me loudly, and I began to work to be the mom He called me to be  – one fully present for my kids. My oldest was 13, my son was 6 and my youngest daughter was 3 when this transformation began to occur in our lives. The only part of this I regret is not inviting this transformation in sooner.

So do I think a mom can fail? Yes. (That testimony is for another day) Do I think she has a choice in it? Yes. If you chose to be a great mom and instill the eternal things into your kids lives, if you commit to studying God’s word and passing on those truths, if you commit to raising them in a Godly home with Godly values, if you lead them by example, if you teach them to Love All. Please One, then, my friend, you will not fail. You can’t fail a job you were meant to do unless you chose to fail.

Lastly, please don’t fall into the trap of comparing yourself to other moms. It’s so unhealthy and you aren’t comparing apples to apples. Your family dynamics are different that any other family. Parent you kids in the way that God commands us. The only way you know how to parent based on His instruction is to read His instructions – the Bible. If you feel as though you aren’t doing things right, open up the Bible sister. That is the only place you’ll find the right answers.

Discussion Question:

Do you feel like you are failing as a mom? Do you now recognize that to be a lie? What is one thing you can say to yourself when they lie creeps into your mind?

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One comment on “Girl, Wash Your Face Summer Reading: Lies 7-9

  1. Lie #7-Control issues/trust were reasons I couldn’t enjoy sex when I was younger. Thank God it changed later!

    Lie #8/9-I’ve accepted the fact I’ll never win “mother of the year” but I’m also confident that my children always knew they were loved. Maybe not understood/accepted/overprotected, but they knew they were loved. And sadly, that’s not a given. Now that they’re adults, they have thanked us for the values we passed down and we have pretty good relationships. I never had the mother-daughter bond with my mother, but I do with my daughter, and I’m thrilled and so grateful. We had to go through tough love with my son, and never knew if we’d have a relationship, but we do and it’s better. Not great, but so much better than we dared to hope. I’m quick to admit I wasn’t a perfect mom, but I did the best I could. Motherhood forced me out of my comfort zone, it’s been the most humbling thing I’ve ever done. It’s HARD. When someone isn’t sure about becoming a parent I advise them to wait until they want it so badly they’ll go through anything…because it’s HARD. But worth it.