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Jun 22 2018

Not a part of the Summer Reading? It’s OK. I invite you read on. There may be some things that resonate with you that you can take away and apply even if you aren’t joining us in the weekly reading.

To my summer reading girlfriends – One awesome week of reading down and much more goodness to come! Don’t allow the enemy to steal your personal reading time. Soak it in and pour it out sister!

LIE # 4 – I’m better than you

This Lie #4 goes right along with Lie #1 – Something else will make me happy. See how the enemy just weaves all these lies in together so that we find ourselves in a place of “what a tangled web we weave”. I mentioned quite a bit in last weeks post around the topic of comparing ourselves to others. One big revelation that I had once I begin to really study God’s word inductively (which by the way is an awesome way to study the Bible), is that God doesn’t see others how we see others. Just like He doesn’t see us like we see ourselves. It’s a pretty difficult concept to grasp. When God looks at us, He sees everything and I mean EVERYTHING. Our motives, our feelings, our thoughts, our insecurities, our pain, our joy, our hopes, our passions, our fears, our doubts, our past, our present, our future. It’s overwhelming just thinking about seeing all that massive stuff at a glance.

In inductively studying the book of Matthew, I learned so much about the heart of Jesus. He is so compassionate toward each of us as we each should be to one another. For me, when I look at someone, I try hard to see past what my physical eyes can see so that I can look past their exterior or their circumstance (which may or may not be self imposed) and see their pain and suffering. When we can look beyond what the enemy wants us to see, we can truly have compassion for others and for the circumstance they may find themselves in. My own difficult, most painful struggle could be the reason I am willing to try to look beyond what the human eye can see. I don’t do this right every time but knowing the grace and mercy that was shown to me during my most difficult season of life gives me the encouragement to do the same for others.

Discussion Question:

Do you find yourself judging others from a human perspective (versus from judging through the eyes of Christ which we are called to do BTW)? Why do you think that is your tendency and what one thing could you try when that tendency rises up?

Lie # 5 – Loving him is enough for me

Everyday you are choosing who you are and what you believe about yourself, and you’re setting the standards for the relationships in your life. 

Seriously? I don’t even know how to begin. I’m so overwhelmed and impacted by this chapter in the book that I could hardly read on to the next chapter. I just want to sit here and marinate in this chapter. Not really like a good marinate, more of an “all-consuming” one.  I have so many emotions stirred that I’m not sure how to classify them as a whole. I have so many things I could write that I can’t really write a thing at all. I’m at a loss because of the abundance. This doesn’t happen often.

On another note, let me just throw this out there in case you didn’t notice. Did you get the honesty in her experience? I was blown away by the details she shared and the courage that must have taken… just so she could impact some lady’s life, to give her courage to know that she is more than what she believes she is. What a selfless act.

We so often allow ourselves to be defined by our past. We can’t separate our identity with an experience. Our experience becomes who we are and who we are (based on that experience) is a lie. We filter every decision we make through that lie and live a life apart of who we where were created to be. It’s a tragedy. What a waste. We are not our past experiences, we are fearfully and wonderfully made in His image. We are blameless in His sight.  We are His chosen child. We are His masterpiece. We are royalty, Girlfriends.

Now sit down and take your royal seat at His table.  And don’t you dare act like you aren’t worthy to be there. He already paid for your admission to this exquisite meal.

Discussion Question:

What in your past has become your identity? Is there something that lingers over your life in such a way that every decision you make is filtered through that experience? I know it’s a very personal question but maybe it’s time to stop avoiding the thing that is robbing you of your life, of who you were meant to be. Isn’t that why we are reading this book – to help us stop believing the lies about who you are so you can become who you were meant to be ? It’s hard work. I know you’re up for it.

Lie # 6 – No is the final answer

What a novel concept. Isn’t it true that “no” is only an answer if we accept it? Often times we control the outcome but give up as if we have no input on the matter. How many times have you said “No” to something just to revisit it in the future and change your answer to “Yes”. There is a season for everything and just because it’s a “No” now, doesn’t mean it’s a “No” later. Things change. People change. Minds change. So then a “No” can change as well, right?

Society has taught us to be impatient. Why do you think fast food is to popular although it’s proven to be bad for our health? Because we are impatient and we don’t have time to wait. It’s our mindset. We want it now and if we can’t have it then we’ll move onto something we can have now even if it’s not as rewarding as the thing we really do want. We act as though our dreams are not worth it. God has planted a passion in each of us, it’s our mission. If our mission isn’t worth it then why are we here? God has promised to give us all the resources we need to carry out our mission. Do we not believe His words? Or do we just not feel like doing the hard work to see it through. Well I must admit that the latter is my answer. But I’ll also add to the mix that I often times don’t put the effort forward to pursue my passion because I’m wondering if it’s really what God wants me to do..or it is in my head.

Do you know what I mean? I feel like if I could audibly hear His voice say, “Yes, this is exactly what I want you to pursue”, then I would know for sure it was, in fact, His will for me. I would be more willing to give it all I have because I’d know that I’d be on the right path and no effort would be wasted. But as I’m writing this I realize that in the process of me not pursing what I think God wants for me, I’m wasting time because I’m not moving forward. So either way I’m wasting time.

So why not do something that could be the right thing and possibly be on the right path instead of sitting here not doing it and wondering if I should be, because we know for sure that would be a waste of time.

Discussion Question:

What passion has God placed in your heart that you’ve not yet pursued? If you’re not sure, don’t discount the first thing that pops into your head – that could be it. Why have you not been pursing that passion? And what is one step will you take to begin this week?

Congratulations! We have now uncovered 6 lies of the enemy so far. We are on the move and making progress!
Keep on hanging on Girlfriends, our faces are looking cleaner by the chapter!

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2 comments on “Girl, Wash Your Face Summer Reading: Lies 4-6

  1. First of all, I want to thank everyone for being so real, honest and vulnerable. That takes guts! And trust. I’m humbled that you trust me enough to be so open.
    Lie #4-In the past I judged parents who had children that were out of control–assuming they weren’t living their values–until our free-spirit son hit puberty and our world changed. We eventually had to go through tough love, something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. We’re good now, for the most part, praise God, but it was very humbling and probably the lesson we had to learn. It’s not ALWAYS about the parents. We weren’t perfect, but we also weren’t the only reason for the chaos. The other thing I used to judge on was people who didn’t take their health seriously–smoked, drank, sedentary lives, emotional eating, etc. I don’t have an addictive personality, praise God, so it’s hard for me to understand, even though I’m normally a very empathetic person. I think it just made me sick to be surrounded by it as a child and having no control over their bad choices. Now that I have experienced serious health issues and I’m older, I’m having a difficult time practicing self-care…I guess it’s true you have to walk in someone else’s shoes in order to really understand. I now try to catch myself when I’m being judgy and try to be more sympathetic.

    Lie #5-“I don’t belong.” The title of my first book was even “Right Where He Belongs!” A running theme for me. I was the odd one out as an introvert in a family of extroverts, I felt constrained in my small town that demanded conformity, and even now, I struggle to create a community where I belong. I’ve recently realized that women, from my mother, to my sister, to classmates to former girlfriends, have for the most part, let me down, either out of jealousy, ignorance, or whatever. It’s very hard for me to trust women, even though I’m trusting by nature. I have plenty of casual friends, but only 1-2 that are true friends, and it sometimes makes me wonder, yet again, if there’s something wrong with ME. Recently, I asked a friend for an address of a mutual friend who had a birthday so I could send a card. She didn’t have the address but invited me to the lunch she’s having with this friend…why was I an afterthought? Even the friend with the birthday had said she couldn’t get together for a few weeks because she’s so busy/family drama. I accepted the invite, but it feels awkward. I hate that feeling. So I tell myself to build that wall again, and have no expectations from anyone but my 2 true friends…This sounds small in the scheme of things, especially compared to the issues some of you are dealing with, but it wears on my sense of self-worth. Am I a good enough person? A good enough friend? Do I expect too much? Why do so few think of me FIRST?

    #6-I feel like I’ve got this one! I’m doing what I feel called to do and I’m filled with so much purpose it’s a little scary! So blessed!

    • Be Still and Live on said:

      Becky, I loved reading your comments. Thank YOU for being so transparent. I know how uncomfortable it is, but when we see our sisters sharing similar struggles, we feel safe to do the same. That takes some real trust and courage. We have all gone through some ugly stuff and some things linger in our life and feels like we will never shake the insecurity. The enemy desires us to keep these things hidden so that we are prisoners to them..thinking there is something wrong with us. God desires us to bring them into the light so that the lie can be exposed and we can be freed of those strongholds. That doesn’t mean we won’t struggle with those things, but when we know it’s a lie, we’ve got a whole new approach to battling those things that once held us prisoner. You are fearfully and wonderfully made sister! Share your goodness with the world and keep pushing through those little lies. – Christy